Fame: I Wanna Live Forever

I’m generally not taken by celebrity. I don’t read the tabloids. I never watch Entertainment Tonight, Access Hollywood, or the like. With one exception, I’ve never asked a famous person for an autograph. When I was like 10 years old, I asked then Mets pitcher Pete Shourek for his autograph. Because I was 10, that shouldn’t count. I don’t even know where that piece of paper is today. A lot of ball players walked by me that day without even a wink, so I thought it was pretty cool for Pete to stop and sign my scrap of paper. So cool in fact, that I even forgot what a terrible pitcher he was. Just going to show that kindness does go a long way.


When I was about 6, I had two uncles and an aunt that lived in an apartment complex called “Hollywood” in ghetto-fabulous Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn. The sound of random gunshots at night notwithstanding, one of my uncles had me convinced that his apartment complex was the real Hollywood. He even had me believing that then super cool celebrity David Hasselhoff lived downstairs. I was a bit suspicious, because I never saw Kit parked outside, but kids are apt to believe just about anything. While I never made an effort to seek him out, I thought it would be neat to run into him in the hallway. For reasons that would occur to me with age, that never did happen though.

In general, I feel that celebrities should be allowed to live something close to normal lives and I try not to butt in and ask for a handshake or photo. Still, there is something fascinating about a celebrity when you see them in real life.

My regular celebrity run-in is UNC basketball coach Roy Williams. Roy likes to take long walks around town with his assistant coaches quite often. His path takes him from the Dean Dome, around my Circle, then back to the Dome. I see him fairly often, probably once a week. Right now, we have a smile and wave relationship. This is up from just a head nod relationship. On the horizon, I imagine, is the time when hugs may be appropriate, but I’m trying not to rush things. Maybe one day I’ll set up a hoop in my driveway and challenge him to a game of horse. Of course, I’ll have the hoop lowered to 8 feet, so I can show off my dunking prowess. Rarrr! Remember, I have all 4 years of eligibility in-tact. I’m just waiting for some top flight basketball coach to notice.

Numerous Roy run-ins definitely trumps that one time I bumped into JJ Redick at a burrito joint. I wanted to go up to him at the soda fountain and throw my
half-eaten burrito across the room and into the garbage can. I’d then turn to him and raise the famed eyebrow-of-challenge ala the Bird-Jordan McDonalds commercials of the 90’s. Two problems. One, I didn’t want to part with my burrito. Second, I figured there was no way JJ could match that shot, and I didn’t want to embarrass him in front of his lovely blond lady friend. I got your back J.

Right now, I’m having lunch with John Edwards. Granted, we’re sitting at different tables, but it still counts and you know it. First impression: he’s a damn good looking man. He has a sort of glow about him. And I’m not talking about that I-haven’t-showered-in-a-week-and-my-skin-is-oily glow. I’m talking about that rare oh-yeah-I-just-got-out-of-the-shower -30-minutes-ago-see-my-hair-is-still-
damp-and-I-used-a-drying-bar-soap-didn’t- put-on-moisturizer-and-still-look-at- my-beauty-shine-shine-shine kinda glow. A few people have come up to him to say hello. This one girl was a law student – I could tell by the unmistakable red binding of the giant book she was carrying. They apparently know each other because they asked about each other’s families. The other person was a handicapped guy that works here. Here’s how the conversation went:

Dude: “Hello. Thanks for coming to see the World’s Best Olympics. Do you remember meeting me there?”
John: “When was that?”
Dude: “At the World’s Best Olympics.”
John: (hesitantly) “I think I might.”
Dude: “Do you mind people coming up and talking to you?”
John: “No. Not at all. I wouldn’t be a politician if I did. Thanks for stopping by and saying hello.”

I must say, that was a pretty neat way to handle the situation. Of course he didn’t remember the guy, but how could he say that? “I think I might” is no non-committal. Not the truth, sure, but not a lie either. Do they teach that at politician school? Or did he pick that up at law school? Ha! And yes, I’m completely eavesdropping. Anyhow, I wish people would stop interrupting so we can get back to our lunch. He’s telling us this story about Roy Williams, UNC basketball, and the game of horse oddly enough. We’re two peas in a pod, John and I. Apparently, he challenged last year’s NCAA tourney MVP and resident used car salesman Sean May to a game of horse last year. The only rule was that there was no dunking. A little known fact is that John Edwards can shoot the rock. Long story short, John won. He has a DVD to prove it. And a programming note, highlights from the DVD will be shown during the Duke-UNC game later this season.

John just left, so it’s a natural time to end this entry. Lesson of the day? Always carry a basketball, because you never know when a famous person will challenge you to a game of horse.