Untopia

I saw the movie “The Village” the other day. I recommend it. In fact, anything M. Night Shyamalan writes/directs is fantastic, except for Signs, which I thought was pretty corny. He’s incredibly creative.

Anyhow, the movie got me thinking about how society is organized, or more precisely, how it ought to be organized. It’s really a question that I have a lot of trouble with. It’s really why I don’t like politics. Politics, in my mind, seeks to reorder society in a more efficient or civilized or insert-your-own-political-position-here kind of way. I have no clue where to begin in figuring out how society ought to be organized. I’m having enough trouble figuring how I should live my own life. I suppose that’s why children aren’t allowed to vote – they haven’t yet figured out how to live their own lives. At 25, I’m still not sure. Most politicians, it appears, don’t know either. I have my leanings, of course, but it’s nothing I can explicate with any precision (as you’ve born witness). Still, I’m left to marvel at the ferocity with which people my age (or any age for that matter) defend their political position. I would have an easier time convincing someone of the validity of a “newly discovered” mathematical theorem which unequivocally proves that one plus one no longer equals two than I would changing that same person’s position on abortion. It’s remarkable.

But suppose I had to make such political decisions. Suppose that due to nuclear war or asteroid strike, say, I’d be in charge of recreating society in any way I wanted/knew how. Suppose that all the knowledge in society was co-extensive with my own at this very moment. That is, no one will know anything unless I can teach it to them. What would I have the world look like?

First of all, there wouldn’t be electricity. I’m not really sure how that works. I once watched a Myth Busters episode where they put an iron rod and a copper tube in a jug of lemon juice and produced a third of a volt current. So, we’d have that going for us. But because I don’t know how to make a light bulb from scratch, we could only use it as a torture device, but I think I’d ban those. So, like I said, no electricity. No lemons either, just in case someone got the bright idea of making a lemon-powered-electric-torture- device.

I pretty much know how to build a house, but it would be tough without power tools. I’m sure I could rig a mean hut though. I could teach people English and how to count to ten in Japanese; common language would be important. Some form of printing press is possible, which would help educate people.

I think I’d also be able to rig some sort of primitive plumbing system and I know that a sanitation system would be important. I also have knowledge of the pulley and wheelbarrow. I also know how to mold a chicken from a restaurant napkin and I can make see-saws for the children. That should keep the natives entertained. The people would also need religion. Luckily, I know enough about several religions that I can concoct something.

Of course, we wouldn’t have cars or airplanes. I’d have to create currency to motivate people.

Man, my society is terrible. This is what happens when I try to get involved with politics! Everyone’s starving, because I don’t know how to farm or hunt. People are dying left and right, because I don’t know anything about medicine. Even the smartest among us only have a high school science and math education. Plus, we all live in huts and wear togas. There’s a raging black market for lemonade and Little Johnny just got eaten by the wolf we were trying to domesticate. The permissibility of abortion or the death penalty is the least of our worries! I quit. Politics just wasnt meant for me.

But like I was saying, there's this new mathematical theorem...