Hams All Around!

You’re not going to believe this, but I’m in love with you. Yeah, you, right there reading this. Completely, head over heels in love with you. If my heart were a watermelon, you’re that middle-aged balding comic from the 80’s with the sledgehammer. Or would lust be a more appropriate label for my emotions? I'm a hot, sweaty St. Bernard on a sultry July afternoon and you're my fire hydrant. Or is the word I’m looking for 'hungry'? Or is that I’m sleepy? I sleepy you?

What strikes me is that two people with relatively similar social standing, education, life experience, etc could disagree on something so fundamental as the very definition of love. When I use the term, I mean X. But other people seem to think it’s something completely different, say, Y. Granted, I'm a little odd, but c'mon, this is love, people! Surely you know what I'm talking about.

Tolstoy once wrote, “If so many men, so many minds, certainly so many hearts, so many kinds of love.” Maybe he’s right. Still, there is an overwhelming presupposition that we all feel the same thing. For instance, you might say, “I love you.” To which, someone might reply, “I love you, too.” The ‘too’ suggests that there is a meeting of the minds. It suggests that both people are talking about the same thing. It is first affirmative and then reciprocative: yes I understand you and yes I feel the same way.

But if Tolstoy is right, maybe they’re not talking about the same thing. Maybe what’s actually being said is: “I love you” and “I want a ham sandwich, too.” You see, the ‘too’ doesn’t necessarily imply a meeting of the minds.


Or, does it? Maybe next time someone tells you they’re hungry, before you concur, you may want to ask yourself how well you know that person and if you’re ready for that kind of commitment.